You smell like stripper and shame
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize