you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A+ Viking dick
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
