Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
