I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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