This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
