just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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