You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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