The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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