i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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