two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
