Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
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why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize