Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
