2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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