Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The feeling are messing with the penis
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
