Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize