This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
