Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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