how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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