Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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