WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
