I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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