I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
