i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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