I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
