so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
