Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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