All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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