His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
