so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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