I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize