That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
