i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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