Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
