Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think i have two assholes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We just shotgunned beers for America
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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