They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
