There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wish I only lived at night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Drake has all the answers
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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