On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
