Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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