I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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