make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
