his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
did you just send me my own nude
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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