please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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