Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
