Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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