I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
