Me too!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
