i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
