There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
