He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
