im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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