O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
