5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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