Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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