She said her name was "party"
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize