Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
