She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
