Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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