Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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