just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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