I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
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This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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