i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
