I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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