my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
