You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
