Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
