and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
