my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
